DEALING WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY

Judges 13:22-23

“And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have seen God. But his wife said unto him, If the LORD were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have shewed us all these things, nor would as at this time have told us such things as these.”

I’m kind of a negative person. It’s easy for me to see bad in just about any situation. About five years ago, I had what you might call a “negativity crisis”. To this day, I don’t quite understand what brought it all on or why I felt the way that I did, but this passage in Judges and this man named Manoah reminded me of that time in my life.

Have you ever had your kid come to you wanting to show you something that they did only to see their dirty face and eclectic attire? Have you had a teenage son or daughter want to talk to you about something exciting in their life but you can’t stop thinking about the attitude that they gave you earlier? Have you ever had your spouse want to share something with you but you just keep bringing up all the issues at home? Have you ever experienced the people you love dearly not wanting to be around you because of your negative attitude?

Five years ago I had reached that point but God did a work in my heart that transformed my attitude through a lot of studying scripture, prayer, and help from my precious wife. I remember almost daily trying to work through these negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. It was like I just couldn’t let things go. Stephanie would patiently listen to me often times late into the night, but at the end of the conversations there was no solution. I had a deep heart issue that I needed to get right with God. Day after day it kept getting worse to a point where I think my beautiful wife, who I love so much was exhausted and probably as miserable as I was. However, her patience, long-suffering and spirit of joy during that time taught me so much that has sustained me to this day.

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY

1. Count Your Blessings Daily

I remember in the middle of most of my rants that Stephanie would stop me and try to focus my attention on the things we have to be thankful for. Sadly, many times I just got more irritated because I felt like she was being dismissive. That wasn’t the case at all. She was simply practicing the Biblical principle that I’ve preached many times of having a thankful heart.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

If you are struggling with negativity, start by counting your blessings. When I started doing this on a daily basis, I realized that God has been far better to me than I deserve. When that first thought of negativity comes into your mind, don’t sit there and dwell on it. Replace it with praise to the Lord and you will soon find out that true joy isn’t found in your circumstances getting better. Instead, it can only be found in our AMAZING GOD!

Ephesians 5:20 “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;”

2. Talking Can’t Fix It

As I said before, I would talk to my wife for hours and hours but it wasn’t moving the needle. In fact, the more I talked about the things that bothered me, the worse I felt and the more frustrated I was. I remember during that time hearing my Pastor talk about an issue and this is what he said, “Good leaders make problems smaller.” A light bulb finally came on in my brain and made me realize that all the communication of my “problems” wasn’t an effort to fix anything, it was simply to make others feel what I was feeling. All the talk only exacerbated my issues.

My wife has an amazing ability to work through problems, but I am often paralyzed by them. I can get overwhelmed with details and often an insignificant matter will take me forever. Do you ever feel like the weight of the issues at home, work, school, in your finances or health are solely on your shoulders? It’s a truth that I’ve known in my head from the time I was young, but I didn’t really start practicing until I went through this “negativity crisis”. The truth is that you were not made to shoulder the burdens of life on your own. Over and over again in Scripture, we are told to take our burdens to the Lord. Talking can’t fix your issues, but God can.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 55:22 “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

My wife always directed me to the Lord, tried to make the problems smaller and prayed. She never jumped on the bandwagon of negativity with me. If you have a friend or family member that is feeding your bad attitude and talking negative about others with you, you need to stop talking and start praying. Find a friend that will stop the negativity and start you on a new path!

3. Hope In God

It got to a point that I was so good at being negative that if I couldn’t find anything currently happening to be negative about, I made up future scenarios in my mind of negative things that might happen. Many days I went to work with dread, went home already annoyed and zoned out in front of a TV trying to let my mind escape these battles I was having.

I remember at one point, my wife didn’t like the color that our house was painted inside. It was dark brown and felt kind of like a dungeon. She didn’t talk a lot about it. I knew it was a big project, it was going to take some time and was dreading taking on another project. Before I realized it, she got all the supplies she needed and finished it quickly. She had a vision for the future and she moved forward joyfully completing the task.

We would do ourselves a favor if we stopped complaining, got a vision for the future and got busy. The Bible is clear that there is no reason for a Christian to have a bad attitude. We have a blessed hope! We have a bright future!

Psalm 42:11 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”

Romans 15:13 “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

Manoah had just experienced something incredible to give them hope for the future, but all he could imagine was negative. Fortunately his wife helped him get the right perspective. God doesn’t want you to stay on this negative path. Maybe this devotional is the first step to a new life of counting your blessings, taking your burdens to the Lord and being hopeful about the future.